I have always said that weddings and funerals bring out the best and worst in families. This weekend's televised funeral for pop star Whitney Houston confirms my belief. First of all, thank you Cissy Houston for allowing cameras into this very personal ceremony. For many viewers it may have been their first time to a funeral. For others, including me, it was the first time attending a home going in a black Baptist church. Singer Whitney Houston's home going service on Saturday was fit for a queen. Family and friends were present as her New Hope Baptist Church family sent the star home. I could feel the love in the heartfelt tributes and the music as I "attended" church service right in my living room. I swayed in my seat and said amen when Cece Winans and Rev. Kim Burrell sang for Whitney and then Kevin Costner brought me to tears with his poignant story of his and Whitney's relationship. I didn't intend to spend almost 4 1/2 hours watching the service, but I couldn't move, it felt like I was walking out of church. I am glad the cameras stayed focused on the pulpit, there was no need for cutaway shots of grieving family or celebrity guests. It was a time to remember Houston.
Throughout the service I was thinking of Bobbi Kristina, Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown's 18 year old daughter. We've all read the reports about her struggling to come to terms with her mom's sudden death and I expect there will be more stories on the horizon. Everyone says Whitney and her daughter were extraordinarily close and Bobbi Kristina was the light of her mother's eye. At the funeral Whitney's producer and mentor Clive Davis said "Bobbi-Kristina always be proud of your mother. She loved you so much." But I worry about Bobbi Kristina especially her relationship with her dad. At a time in her life when she will need him most, it seems like the two are so far apart.
There was much speculation last week as to whether or not former husband singer Bobby Brown would be allowed to attend the funeral. Stories claim there is a lot of tension in the family since many still blame Brown for Whitney's life spiraling out of control. Brown did go to the church but reports say the Houston family told Bobby he was unable to sit with the family inside the church. Bobby became upset and left.
Bobby Brown released a statement explaining why he left his ex-wife’s funeral service saying:
“I fail to understand why security treated my family this way and continue to ask us and no one else to move. Security then prevented me from attempting to see my daughter Bobbi Kristina. In light of the events, I gave a kiss to the casket of my ex-wife and departed as I refused to create a scene. My children are completely distraught over the events. This was a day to honor Whitney. I doubt Whitney would have wanted this to occur. I will continue to pay my respects to my ex-wife the best way I know how.”
And yes, Bobby showing up with nine people was not the smartest thing, since all reports said the invitation only service allowed each guest to bring one guest. But I believe Bobby probably knew he would need the additional support. And for Pete's sake he isn't just another guest, he is the father of Bobbi Kristina. Rev. Al Sharpton was interviewed with CNN and he says “Bobby only showed love and respect for Whitney and his daughter.” I give Brown credit for taking the high road and walking away. There is a time and place for everything and Whitney's funeral was not it.
Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown were married from 1992 to 2007, 15 years for better or worse. And we saw the worst of it, jail, drug addiction and divorce play out on television and in tabloid magazines. The media will continue to cover every possible angle when it comes to Houston's death, including the image of her as "good girl" corrupted by "bad boy" Bobby Brown. Bobbi Kristina will see it all.
The sad fact is children don't get to choose their parents and I hope Bobby Kristina loves her parents despite their flaws and can see past all the negative noise that surrounds her. I also pray the Houston family and the media give Bobbi Kristina a chance to grieve and work thru her relationship with her father. Actor Kevin Costner may have said it best in his speech at the funeral "I urge the nation to dry their tears, suspend the sorrow to remember the sweet miracle of Whitney. Remember, that Cissy and Bobbi Kristina is still among us."
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